The inconsequential moments of motherhood...

Yesterday afternoon, one of our friends dropped in for a catch-up. He's a lovely guy, in his early 40s, single, one dog, no kids. I get the feeling that he loves his dog more than anyone or anything else in the world. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice dog - great temperament, very well-behaved, kind of cute....but hey, it's a dog. At one stage of the afternoon he even said that dogs and kids were pretty much the same. I didn't even know where to start. Anyway, let's get to the point...

So, he came in and we chatted away for a while - how his business is doing, what's happening with his ex-girlfriend who's been giving him trouble, what his parents are up to, his holiday plans, his new business idea and so on it went. I started getting a bit frustrated that the 'conversation' was all about him. What about us? What about me? What about Boo?

After he left, I wondered what I would even have had to say if he had thought to ask after me; what I've been doing. My usual answer is something along the lines of "Oh nothing much" or "Oh you know, just the usual". I find that I just tend to downplay my life as a mother with people who aren't parents....I guess I figure that what I do at home all day must just seem like mundane, boring, mind-numbing 'stuff'. But is it?

I started to think of what I do as a mother and I decided that while there's nothing in and of itself that is particularly news-worthy, all of it together amounts to just so much. What do I do? I crawl after Boo pretending to chase her. I read her stories. We play peek-a-boo. We sometimes go out if it isn't too hot. We play in the garden; feeding the ducks and chooks, hunting for the last remaining grapes on the vine, playing in the sandpit. She presses the buttons on the washing machine for me once I've loaded it up. We play with musical instruments. We make a mess in the kitchen cupboards. We sing and dance together. We eat lunch. We play with dolly and teddy. We feed the fish. We play hide and seek. We blow bubbles. It's all completely inconsequential. It's hardly worthy of conversation. Even my hubby only gets the highlights - what new word Boo tried to say, where she tried to climb, what her latest accident involved...

But it is these inconsequential moments of motherhood, that fill our days and our weeks and our months that indeed hold within them the power to transform the human race. I know that what I am doing, very intentionally, is raising a new member of the human race...someone with the capacity to understand that we are always kind to others, that we take responsibility for our actions, that we show love and gratitude to all, that we commune with our creator, that all are actions in this world have an influence on the progress of our soul in the next...A day in the life of a mother may not make for great conversation but it WILL make for a great planet. And that's not inconsequential at all.

Where do I start...

Photo taken at our farm

Ok, maybe I should give you a bit of background. My daughter was born 15 months ago. It was not a planned or unplanned pregnancy...it kind of just happened and my husband and I just went with the flow. I always wanted to have children so the prospect of impending motherhood excited me enormously. Fantastic, stress-free pregnancy. Peaceful, calm waterbirth at home. The first few weeks and months went very well....and then we moved house. Well, we actually moved right out of the city to a small town of around a thousand people, two and a half hours away from the nearest city. Well, we survived that...just...and eventually settled in to our new home and new life in the country. We have been here just one year now. I am still on maternity leave (unpaid of course!) and I see motherhood as my career now...until all our children are in school full time.

But I am really interested in parenting and the choices people make when it comes to how to raise their children. I would probably have to describe myself as being at almost the opposite end of the spectrum to a lot of mainstream parenting practices that I see around me...this is not necessarily intentional - I just know really clearly what I will and will not do when it comes to raising children...and that seems to set me apart a little.

Since moving here, I have made two friends (not bad huh!), but I think it may take a while before I am accepted by the majority of mothers here. This is a very conservative town...people don't generally behave too 'differently' from the norm. There are unwritten laws governing social conduct. My problem is I just can't be naffed doing things in any other way than my own! So, we'll see what happens to me (I think I'll end up being seen as a harmless, slightly eccentric, hippie mum!)

The summer here is long and very hot. Most days are well above 35 degrees Celcius (that's 95 degrees Farenheit!) and this lasts for between 5-6 months! So it's too hot to go out and there's actually not a lot to do in this town anyway. One is very much left to one's own resources. Which is why it is important that I make friends, so that I can at least visit other mums and have people over.

My daughter, let's call her Boo, is a delight and I treasure my days with her. It's not all a bed of roses though. There have been some really difficult times for me recently - over the summer holidays (6 weeks) everything closes down here - the playgroup, the mothers group, the music group, the library (that's all there is). So unless you know other people, there is quite literally, nothing to do and nowhere to go. Like I said, it's too hot to go outside after 10am and I have no family or close friends nearby. I only just survived...in fact, in the sixth week I actually did crack. But, I'm over that now, back on track, I've just made another friend (another mum who has also recently moved here) and things are starting to look up. Whew!